Margie Newman: Preggers

Many of my Preggers posts have highlighted the ridiculous things dude strangers said to me throughout my second trimester. But, now that I’m well into my third trimester, I’m discovering the tide has turned.

Dude strangers now seem to go to GREAT lengths to act like they don’t know I’m pregnant, while lady strangers have started blurting out mindless comments right off the bat.

Like this winner, which a lady stranger recently honored me with at a fancy DC lunch event: 

Lady Stranger: “Oh! You are HUGE! You must be due any day now!”

Me: “Actually, I have six weeks left.”

Lady Stranger: “OH MY! Just think how MASSIVE you will be by then!”

Me: {Blink, blink. Southern smile hiding the urge to punch her in the face} “Yeah.”

Lady Stranger: “Well! Congrats on the baby! Have a good day!”

This lady shall, of course, remain nameless…only because I HAVE NO CLUE WHO SHE IS.

People, I know I look like I’m smuggling a regulation size basketball under my shirt, but that is an observation ONLY I GET TO MAKE.

Geez-o-Pete, ladies. Take a cue from my fabulous friends and co-workers, who know to say things to Preggers gals like “you’re glowing” and “you look great!” Or just smile and nod. Better yet, do something helpful like buy us some Nutella, Gala apples, a McDonald’s milkshake or a Ruth’s Chris steak.

Here’s how this works: if you can’t bring yourself to lie to the Preggers, don’t say anything at all. 

{Note: To be fair, I did have two lady strangers approach me at a restaurant in New York and—Dave as my witness—shower me with the.sweetest.complements and well-wishes EVER. So, not all lady strangers have this problem…just the ones in D.C.}